Negotiations: A Sweet Love Story

Allen looked deeply into Hannah’s eyes and moved closer to her face.  Their lips touched, for the first time.  Allen lingered, loving the sweet sensations that coursed through his veins and Hannah felt her heart race into overdrive.  Time stood still for them.  Seconds or hours could have passed and neither one would have noticed.  

Allen moved away from Hannah a few inches and saw her eyes were still closed as she savored the tingling in her body.  Slowly she opened them and he smiled at her.

After several calming deep breaths, Hannah said, “The kiss…”

“Yes?”

“Does it mean you want to have a relationship with me?”

He hesitated, wondering where she was going with her question. “I thought I made that evident.”

“Oh, this guy really doesn’t know. Not necessarily evident.  People go around kissing each other right and left all the time.”

Allen frowned.  “Do you?  Go around kissing other guys right and left all the time?”

“Well, no, I don’t.  I didn’t know if you went around kissing other girls right and left all the time.”

“Uh… no, I don’t.”

Hannah smiled at him. “Okay, then.  Did that kiss mean you want to have a relationship with me?”

“What?  Are we in middle-school?  Did I just pass you a note that says, ‘Do you like me? Yes? No? Check one.’”

“Very funny.  I repeat, did that kiss mean you want to have a relationship with me?”

“Well… uh… yes, I do.”

“A romantic relationship?  Yes? No? Check one.” Hannah asked him.

“Oh, this girl really doesn’t know. Yes, a romantic relationship,” Allen said.

She took a deep breath and then said, “Okay.  For now, I am not into anything red-hot and racy.  I prefer soft and lovely and cute.”

“Not red, but pink?”  he asked.

“Pale pink.  Not R-rated.  PG with only a touch of PG-13.”

He frowned at her and then asked, “So there are limits?  Boundaries?”

“Definitely.”

“Kissing is okay, then?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of kissing?  Any tongue allowed?” he asked, willing to play the game with her.

“Well, yes, but limited.”

“Limited to what?” Allen asked.

“Lips, but not passed the teeth.”

“So licking your tonsils is R-rated?”

“Yes, if I still had tonsils.  They were taken out when I was two.” Hannah told him.

“Can I lick your cheek?” he asked.

“Is this guy some kind of pervert with a weird cheek fetish?  Why would you want to lick my cheek?” she asked him.

“I don’t know, but it could come up.  It might destroy the mood if I have to ask you if it is okay, later.  You know, right before I actually lick your cheek. Better to get a clarification now. And I don’t have a cheek fetish.  By the way, how long have you had this disease where everything you think comes out of your mouth?” Allen asked.

“Can you believe this guy? Okay.  Touching my cheek with your tongue may be alright under certain conditions.”

“Got it. Use of the tongue is conditional.  What about hands?”

“We can hold hands,” Hannah said.

“So, I am allowed to touch your hands.  What about your face?” Allen asked.

“When you say touch my face, what kind of touch are you thinking about?”

“A perfectly pale pink caress.”  Allen started to have a lot of fun with her negotiations.  He decided to go all in with her game. “And your neck is okay to touch with fingers and lips?”

“Yes.”

“Shoulders?”  

“Yes.”

“Can I lick your elbow?”  Allen asked.

“What?  Why?  We have established you don’t have a cheek fetish, but is there an elbow fetish we need to discuss?”  Hannah asked.

“I don’t have a reason now, but it could come up in the future.  I just want to be sure.  And I don’t have any kind of fetish that I know about.  You can keep that thought to yourself.”

“So what’s up with all the licking? I am picturing a St. Bernard, here. And no, I don’t like doggy kisses.”

“A St. Bernard? Oh, this girl is giving me a headache! I am trying to discover what your boundaries really are.”

“Oh, this guy who wants to lick my cheek and my elbow!” Hannah put her fingers up to her the bridge of her nose as if she were really caressing an aching head. “Okay. Again, licking my elbow may be alright under certain conditions.”

“Conditional elbow licking.  Got it.”  He noticed her frown and felt her start to shut down a bit.  He didn’t want the game she started to end, just yet.  “What’s wrong?  I’m making a list for future reference.  Now, what about your chest?”

“Chest?  As in breasts?”

“Well, yes.  All guys want to know about breasts.” He gave her his most serious look.

“If I knew you were a typical guy and not very special, I may have called all this off. Pay attention, Allen. This is a very important negotiation point. Breasts are R-rated. Plus, it should go without saying that all genitals are R-rated, too.”

“I wasn’t even going to ask about genitals. But, what if we hug? I will be able to feel your breasts touching my chest through our clothes.  Are you saying no hugs?”

“Hugs are fine,”  Hannah smiled because she realized he was fully playing her game.

“Back hugs, too?” He asked.

“Yes.  Back hugs are fine as long as your arms and hands remain in the PG position.”

“Okay.  Arms and hands in the PG position. Now, what about feet?”

“What about them?”  She asked.

“Can I caress your feet?” Allen asked

“Only after I’ve had a pedicure. What about your feet?  Can I caress them?”

“Only after I’ve had a pedicure.  Can I kiss your toes?”

“Weird, but the pedicure provision still stands,”  Hannah said.

“You will let me know when your next pedicure appointment is, right?” Allen asked.

“So you do have a fetish. A foot fetish,” Hannah teased.

“This girl really doesn’t know.”  He took a deep breath and then said, “Any part of the body can be an erogenous zone if it is approached correctly.”

“Oh, my.  Do we have to start our negotiations, again?  I feel like Antony Blinken at the Middle East Peace Talks. Like I am getting nowhere.”

“Who?”

“This guy is totally uninformed.  Maybe I need to re-think this whole romantic relationship.  Antony Blinken is the current Secretary of State under President Biden.  You do know who President Biden is?”

“Oh, ha ha,” Allen said.  Then, “We have actually covered a lot of ground in our negotiations.  Nothing red.  Just lovely pale pink.  That is a major breakthrough. Do you want to continue?”

“Continue negotiations?”

“This girl really doesn’t know.  I meant continue with a romantic relationship?  You do realize that a romantic relationship is much deeper than girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Deeper in what way?” she asked.

“Boyfriend/Girlfriend relationships are like middle school relationships. ‘Do you like me? Yes? No? Check one.’ A romantic relationship involves the heart and real, deep feelings.”

“Deep feelings, like… love?” Hannah asked.

“Totally like love,” Allen said.

“Are you saying you love me?”  Hannah asked him.

“Did you just go back to middle school?  ‘Hannah, do you love me? Yes? No? Check one.’”

“Well, I’m not sure.  We have to kiss again before I can answer your middle school note.”

Allen didn’t hesitate.  He put his hand on her cheek and pulled her in closer.  Their lips met again and he gently touched her lips with his tongue.  Suddenly the kiss deepened and his other hand pulled her into a closer embrace.

Allen pulled away from her, leaving one hand holding her cheek and the other hand holding onto her shoulder blade so she couldn’t move too far away from him.  “I’m ready for your answer.”

Hannah said, “Let me see.  The note said, “‘Hannah, do you love me? Yes? No? Check one.’  The answer to that is ‘Yes.’  My note says, ‘Allen, do you love me? Yes? No? Check one.’”

“Hannah, I love you with all my heart.”  Allen pulled her into another PG-13 kiss that lasted all day.